A Very Long "About Me" Page
Okay, maaaaybe I didn't really explain much in the first entry. So I guess I'll explain some things here... and when I say 'some', I mean pretty much everything. Everything about me, at least. Here goes.
Hi there. My name is Rachel. I am fifteen years old, and I live in Flower Mound, Texas. I have one brother, one sister, a mom, and a dad. Pretty average, I think. I hope.
I'm sure that once I have written a fair amount of entries, I will go back and edit this entire page, but for now, I'll stick with the basics.
I never really know what to say when it comes to describing myself. Usually I say stupid things like short, tan, and sarcastic, but then I realize that that's not really describing me at all. Except the sarcastic part. That's definitely me.
I grew up in Cedar Hill, Texas, which is about 45 minutes away from here. We moved here when I was seven and have been here ever since. Oh. Shit. This has nothing to do with my personality.
Sorry about that. Well, on with it. I'm laid back, introverted, sarcastic, intelligent to an extent, short [I really don't think I can avoid that now], emotional, and, when provoked, extremely bitchy. I never really talk much, which my friend Kayleigh loves to point out when there's an awkward silence, and I stay in my house most of the time, even during the summer. I don't know why it has to be that way, it just is. Sometimes I wish I could change it, but I know it will always be like this. That's just my life.
I usually blame my moody, silent self on my zodiac sign, however lame that may sound. I'm a Cancer, and Cancers are very secluded and sensitive. The sign is, after all, a crab. I have this kind of outer shell that doesn't let people in, and when I accidentally do, I make sure that it doesn't happen again. I'll admit, I sound really weird. But at least it's nice to have something to blame when someone asks why I'm not wild and spontaneous like my friends. "I'm sorry. It's my zodiac sign."
This subject is kind of a mystery to me. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. You see, I've been friends with the same people for a very long time. Some of my friends I've known since 2nd grade, 5th grade, etc. I like them very much, and I'm guessing they like me too, but for some reason, I feel very out of place when I'm with them now. I hang out with some seriously crazy people. I think the reason I don't connect with them as much anymore is because they don't even try connecting with me. It's like I've drifted apart from everyone, and the feeling, to be teenagishly honest, fucking blows.
The thing is, being in highschool, it's a lot harder to find a totally new group of friends. And if you do, it'll be even harder to actually feel accepted and accept everybody else in that group. It's not as if I don't like my friends anymore. It's just... I don't know if they like me anymore. Here are some friends, however, that I love and trust.
Kayleigh is probably the best friend I'll ever have. I don't know if she considers me hers, because she has a million other friends where she lives in Argyle, about fifteen minutes away from here, but oh well. I met her in 6th grade through my friend Anne [look below], but we started talking around 8th. She's insane in a good way, and loves being naked. She's possibly the only friend I can truly be myself around.
Jenna I met in 7th grade, in Science class. She's not too wild, she's more like me, a little secluded from some people she chooses to be secluded from. However, her two stepsisters are extremely popular and she's made about 2,361 friends there, so during school she switches off hanging out with them and hanging out with us. I must say, it's quite annoying. But I love her anyway, because she listens before arguing. Why else would she be in debate? [grins]
Anne has been my friend since 6th grade, as said above. I met her in Choir and we hit it off. She's crazy like Kayleigh, and can be pretty fierce. I actually used to not like her all that much because I was afraid of her [don't tell anyone heh], but now I just see her as my lovely Anniekins.
Lauren is a friend that I met a little less than a year ago. I met her at Doug's house, when me and Anne went over there one time. At first I didn't think much of her, but now we're good friends. She's funny and outspoken, which I love her for. She's there for me when I need her to be, and vice versa.
Oh, God. Where to begin? Well, my inner family [mom, dad, etc.] is made up of Ben, Jenna, Pam, and Matt.
Jenna is my 19-year-old sister. Her and I are very much alike. She's sarcastic and laid back, and we even have pretty much the same voice. In fact, I think the only thing different about us is our looks. She's going to UNT this year, which is, needless to say, going to be very weird. This means I'm going to have the house all to myself [I'm the youngest] and I won't get to ask her to drive me to friends' houses or get me food or anything. Again, weird.
Ben is my 22-year-old brother. He goes to San Marcos and is majoring in Geography, but I think my mom said he changed it. I'm not really sure. He taught me how to tie my shoes, blow bubbles in my gum, and swear. He usually expresses his love for vodka when he's around me.
Pam is my 46-year-old mom. She's a complete psycho. My dad says that the only reason she yells so much and gets angry about every little thing is because she has high blood pressure and could have a heart attack at any moment, but I think it's just a ruse to make me feel bad about yelling back. But really, does the cat litter box have to be cleaned out every day? And do we really have to fold the towels? To her, it's a sin if you don't.
Matt is my 47-year-old dad. He can be very calm in angry situations. He makes very lame jokes when everyone is serious, which sometimes makes me explode. It's strange, because he's not as mean or crazy as my mom, but he's more strict and actually remembers when he grounds me. Damn.
As for my outer family [aunts, uncles, etc.] I'm not even going to get into it unless I need to at some point in time. There are too many to even name, for one. For another, I don't see them all that much, so it would be pointless to tell everything about them. So I'll just leave it at this for family.
Provided by the lovely Star Designs. Firstly, I love Kurt Halsey, and secondly, the song on this layout is the first song by Bright Eyes, one of my favorite bands, that I ever heard and fell in love with. I used to listen to it practically everyday when I was in 8th grade. And for some reason, every time I go through a breakup I listen to it fullblast on iTunes. When I came upon this layout I was stunned. I didn't know that many other people even knew that song. So, naturally, I started using it. :]
I don't mean Rachel, I mean le-recluse, in case that got you confused. "Le" is obviously French, the language that I would very much like to learn one day so I can travel to France and live there for a little while. As for "recluse", well...
Main Entry: recluse
Function: noun
: a person who leads a secluded or solitary life
If you read about myself above, you will know why I chose this name. This diary is my life in a nutshell, lived on the outside, viewed from the inside. Take it in however you want, and choose to think of it however you want. It is your decision whether or not you want to suck yourself into my world. It is your decision whether or not you want to be a recluse... like me.
Oh, and one more thing.
This is me.
P.S., "The Recluse" by Cursive is also one of my favorite songs. Listen to it. And fall in love with it.
before // after